August 8, 2025

My Spiritual Journey: From Doubt to Faith

Walking Through the Darkness: A Time of Struggle and Doubt

It wasn’t that long ago that I felt I was walking through life with both my eyes closed. I was struggling with my anxiety and the burden of feeling all alone. I didn’t know who I was anymore. All I knew was that I had a little girl depending on me—and most days, I wasn’t even sure I had the strength or faith to keep going.

My relationship with my daughter’s father was and still is one of the most painful parts of my life. What started with hope for a better future slowly unraveled into confusion, hurt, and abandonment. I found myself constantly questioning my worth. Was I not enough? Was I too much? The emotional strain became unbelievably heavy, and I fell apart. I felt alone in every sense of the word.

And that’s when the depression truly sank in.

I isolated myself—partly because I felt ashamed, and partly because I was just too tired to explain what I was going through. My days were long and lonely, filled with the echoes of questions I didn’t have the answers to. I’d look at my daughter, her eyes full of light and wonder, and question how I could ever raise her right when I was so broken inside.

I stopped hoping and praying. I even stopped believing that God cared about what I was going through. After all, if he did, why would he allow so much pain?

God’s Unfailing Love: Walking Through Pain Together

But something remarkable happened in the quiet moments—when the house was still, and I could hear my own breath again. I began to feel a tiny pull back to God.

At first, I ignored it. I was angry. I didn’t think I deserved grace. But over time, that whisper grew louder—through a verse on my phone screen, a song on the radio, the kind smile of a stranger, or the unshakable peace I felt when I finally admitted the truth: “I don’t know what I’m doing. But I want to believe again.”

That raw honesty was the beginning of everything.

I started small. Opening my Bible again. Talking to God. Letting go of the lie that I had to be perfect. Slowly, faith began to blossom where there had once been only doubt.

My daughter became my reason why—why I get up, why I fight, why I trust. I want her to grow up knowing that no matter how dark life gets, there’s always a way back to the light. That even when the people we love fail us, God never will.

I still have hard days. I still wrestle with old wounds. But I’m not the same woman I was when this journey began. I’ve learned that faith doesn’t mean you never feel lost—it means you trust that God will guide you home.

If you’re reading this and you’re where I was—feeling alone, hurting, doubting—I want you to know: your pain is real, but so is the healing. God is not afraid of your mess. He’s not distant from your depression. He’s walking with you through it, even when you can’t feel it yet.

This journey from doubt to faith isn’t over for me. But every day, I get a little closer to peace, to joy, to the woman God created me to be.

And I’m learning… that’s enough.